Sunday, January 19, 2014

Get Out da Car!

My apartment window faces the parking lot, so I see whenever somebody comes or goes. Normally this is no big deal. Well, this lady who lives next to me always parks in the space right in front of my window. Again I don't care. However, every single time she parks, she finds it pertinent to sit in her car (with the lights on) for a half hour or so, sometimes longer. I don't know if she is on her phone or what, but for some reason I find it extremely annoying. I almost want to go outside and tell her to get out of her freaking car already. There is no reason to sit in your car for that long after you get home. Absolutely none, well, unless you bring somebody with you and start steaming up the windows. In which case, you SHOULD STILL GO INSIDE!

Monday, January 6, 2014

Vaccination Nation Part 1

For my upcoming trip to Nicaragua I need some vaccinations. Makes sense, right? A little typhoid and Hepatitis A doesn't really sound like a fun time after all (surprising I know). Well, my first thought was "Hey I work in a doctor's office, in a giant hospital with tons of other doctors, and my girlfriend works in an urgent care, I must have some kind of connection to get these shots cheap." WRONG. Nothing, nada, zip, zilch. I called 3 doctor's offices, 2 pharmacies and my insurance company, but it was to no avail. I had to resort to the Dallas County health facility. Gross. They are the cheapest option, but it's still costing $200 for all these needle pokes (luckily not in the butt).

So, I left work early around 3pm to drive over there. They close at 4pm. I even called ahead, to make sure they weren't swamped and refusing people. As I'm driving over there I see the traffic coming home will be murder, but at least I'm getting these shots out of the way. I arrive, and the huge parking lot is packed. Luckily, I find a spot in front row (booyah!) and go inside. A cute girl says hello to me on the way in, which, if you are familiar with the caliber of people that use 'county' health clinics, you should know this is like a one-in-a-million omen. Looking good so far.

***Side note about people in County health clinics: ---  people in these places are not usually the brightest bulbs in the toolbox or the most attractive flowers in the sea.

Anyways I found the correct room, but who is blocking my way: a security guard! "We are shut down for the day, too many people. Come back tomorrow!" she repeats to all the disappointed people.

***Side note- she had on bubble-gum pink eye liner and lipstick - which is both classy and respectful.

BUT SERIOUSLY!?!? THE LADY ON THE PHONE SAID AS LONG AS I GOT THERE BY 4PM I WOULD BE FINE! Apparently not. I went all that way for nothing. So I left without getting shot, which is both good and bad if you knew the neighborhood it was in, and spent a good 40 minutes driving a 10 minute route home. #losing

Thursday, December 19, 2013


Krista and I got denied yesterday. Here's the scoop:
We went to get Krista a new phone for Christmas but due to some unforseen problem, we could not upgrade her phone. Then we went to In n Out for dinner, and had about a 20 min cushion before we had to leave for a movie. Little did we know that In n Out in Texas takes forever and we had to scarf down our food (partly on the drive over to the theater).
Then we arrived to watch American Hustle, only to find out that the (only) listed showtime was in fact "promotional" and you had to be invited via email to have a ticket.

So, we got no phone,  no movie, and a stomach ache. Woohoo.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Definitely Half EMPTY

I bought some potato chips today. Good for me right? Well, I opened the bag and looked inside to find that the bad was only half-filled with chips! What. A. Ripoff. I'm certain we've all experienced this before, but that doesn't make it okay. Now, I can tolerate the increase in the price of chips if I have to, but don't insult me by filling the bad halfway to make me think I'm getting more. In the very least, it is a waste of bagging material; if the bag size actually represented the amount of chips inside it could probably stop global warming or something.
The other side may say something like: "the extra space provides a cushion so the chips remain crunchy, instead of breaking into tiny crumbly pieces." To that I say: bolshevik. Give me chips, or give me, well, chips. You don't need extra space, these chips aren't flying first class. Put them in coach because they are going to a far worse place in the end.
Also, the chip companies could learn a lot from the pretzel people. Have you ever seen bags of pretzels? They are PACKED TO THE BRIM with pretzels; I almost feel like the bag is gonna explode if I pinch it. That's how it should be done.

Monday, April 22, 2013

Unlucky Colors Exist

Something strange happened at the hotel today. A guest walked to the front desk to purchase a toothbrush, since he forgot his. I handed him a random selection from the bag, and it happened to be yellow. He immediately shied away, and said, "Hey I'm sorry but do you have ANY other color but yellow? I'm not trying to be one of the OCD people, but yellow is my unlucky color. So can I please have a different color?" I was astounded - an unlucky color?!? Does this guy stay away from the sun, lemons and bananas too? How does he live? Maybe he just had a bad dream about Pac Man or something. Either way I cracked some joke about how it'd be bad news to have bad luck while brushing your teeth and got him another colored brush.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013


I went to Costco with Krista today. We walked into the store, I flashed my member card (like a boss) and strutted into the warehouse. We were immediately greeted by 'television guy' - that dude who gets paid to watch TV on 8 giant flatscreens and occasionally bother you as you walk in. Well, we made it past him with no problems. Little did we know what we had in store next. (haha pun).

The next booth down looked like a water cooler you would see in the office, and that's pretty much all it was. There stood one guy in a polo shirt, next to the water cooler and behind a little black table. As we walked past, he shouted "Water!" and held a cup of liquid out to us. We laughed, thinking he was joking, but a couple seconds later he did it again: "water!"
Now, I don't know what was wrong with this guy, maybe he had a super tough day at the water station and was losing his mind, maybe he was fed up with the fact that NOBODY wanted his water. That desperate plea "water!" must have been his last resort, as he wished to god he had been assigned the ravioli station or something instead.

The funniest part was when I ran back to the front to get a cart (who walks into Costco without a cart???) and I saw 'water guy' with his head in his arms, leaning on the water cooler. He MUST have had a rough day, poor guy.

P.S. Later at Costco we had champagne and orange juice in our cart (for guess what day...) and the pop corn sample guy said that popcorn goes well with mimosas. Who knew?

Sunday, March 31, 2013

March Update

I haven't really been in the mood for posting as of late, so this is gonna be a short summary of everything memorable that has happened in the past few weeks to try and make up for that.

For St. Patrick's day I visited Bianca and Lucie in Temecula for some wine tasting. Everything was pretty good I guess cause I don't really know much about wine but I found out that I prefer white wine or mostly light in color. We enjoyed some green wine and had a few dessert wines including one that tasted like chocolate.

Probably most importantly this month, March Madness started, my favorite time of the year. Of course I made a bracket (that sucks) and convinced myself that I might actually have a shot at doing really well this year, but of course it failed. In hindsight I could see myself making much better picks but the main reason that nobody gets a perfect bracket is because nothing goes as expected.

I had a few interviews the past few weeks which was really exciting. Unfortunately I didn't get any of the positions. It's nice that each of the interviewers said that they really liked me, but sucked mostly because I lacked enough experience to secure the job. Fortunately I did manage to find another position that I had applied to before and has recently reopened. It sucks that it requires 3-5 12 hour shifts during the week from 6pm to 6am. Fortunately this position pays really well and will hopefully give me the experience needed for other positions in the future. I start Monday for training.

A few days ago Kyle came back for a few days for Easter. We celebrated by getting California burritos which tasted really good. We also celebrated the good weather by going for a bike ride around Lake Hodges going across the footbridge which is apparently the longest stressed ribbon bridge in the world. We ended the day watching lots of March Madness and 'The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel' which was a neat movie.

Today, Joey and Morgan came for a visit so all of us and Kyle went to the beach. The weather was spectacular though the water was pretty cold. We played catch with the football and Aerobe disk while managing to catch some rays. We ended the day with some more March Madness.

Monday, March 4, 2013

Paying for a Brand

The Ranch Dressing you choose is actually quite important. Last night, I went big and spent the extra bucks for Hidden Valley Ranch because I wasn't going to make the same mistake again. Like many of you, I have a history of shopping really thrifty (like Macklemore); I try to buy the cheapest items in order to save money. But the "Great Ranch Dressing Fiasco of 2012" made me think differently. Sometimes, brand-name items are actually better than their generic counterparts (Great Value, Valu Time, Safeway, Savemart, etc.). What was this dressing fiasco, you may ask? Well, I'll tell you.

There's not much to it, other than that I bought a cheap generic version of ranch dressing, and thought I was getting a great deal (it was about $3 cheaper than most other choices). Well, when I opened it to enjoy some carrots and ranch, I learned why it was cheaper: it was rancid! Probably the most foul thing I tasted that was supposed to be fresh. Well, since then I've stayed name-brand on Ranch dressing.

Other things that I stay name-brand on: Hershey's Syrup, Jif peanut butter, Ritz crackers, and I think that's it so far. Cool huh?

P.S. I learned through my job as a medical assistant that the generic versions of medications are NOT exactly the same as the name brands, even though they claim many of the same ingredients or active components. For example, with eye medications, the name brand Lastacaft is proven to relieve itching for 24 hours, while the generic wasn't tested to last nearly as long. Interesting; now I don't know what to believe anymore.

Thursday, February 28, 2013

It's Like a Break-Up

For some time now, my job has been on the rocks. It's no fault of mine, I've actually been doing quite well, and I learned a lot of difficult tasks in a short period of time. However, for some reason or another, the Doctor I worked for did not like me. I'm thinking that maybe he is sexist, because ALL the other people in the office are women, as well as all of his other assistants. Well, to make a long rant shorter and to get to the point, I basically got fired on Monday. The kicker- it was via TEXT MESSAGE! I was messaging my supervisor on Sunday asking what my work schedule was for the next day, since it had been variable the last couple weeks, and she responded saying the doctor said he doesn't need my assistance any more. Ouch.

Anyways, don't worry about me, I'm not too beat up about it because I thought of leaving for something better for a month or so now, but it's still like a break up. I've spent the last couple days, since I found out, lounging around and doing nothing all day long. I've watched a bunch of movies, played a lot of video games, and just pretended every day was Saturday. I'm looking at it like a post-job grieving period, before I start hunting again and being productive. It's like when you break up with someone, how you are sad or depressed for a little while. But I rediscovered something I learned in the fall: sitting around the apartment all day is fun for a day or two, but then it gets really really boring. I'm already hating it.

I'm gonna set little goals, like going through my Rosetta Stone Espanol and applying to a lot of jobs. Maybe I'll even study for the GRE. Who knows.

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Getting Back in the Swing of Things

On Friday, the lovebirds Joey and Morgan came down to SD to visit and spend the day. Morgan had a 4 hour Grad School interview in the morning which gave Joey and I some dude time. We went to the good ol' Oaks North Golf Course to hit some range balls and tried to remember what coach Eric Mild had worked so hard to teach us. We recounted the memories of how we were 'Wild Ones' and mostly dgaffed the whole class. Neither of us had played in awhile so needless to say we were pretty rusty but plenty of good fun was had.

Later we caught up with Morgan, cruised the boardwalk on the beach and got some BJs. The pizza was pretty good too, though Joey ordered a Vegetarian pizza and added chicken to it which seemed kinda counter-intuitive.

Poppin' Tags

Brent, Eshan, Tyler, Kevin and I went rolling to the thrift stores in Woodland yesterday. We spent several hours trying on ridiculous outfits and laughing at some of the items one could purchase (like a sweatshirt with a slogan about cat hair on it, or some gay cowboy boots, that happened to fit me perfectly). Well, after a while we all had our outfits: Eshan bought a huge fur coat that made him look like a pimp, Brent got some army-type jacket, tie and shirt, Tyler got a Hawaiian shirt, Winnie the Pooh tie and grey blazer, Kevin got a grey blazer and a hideous porn star t-shirt and metal chain, and I got some brown corduroy pants and a tight blue blouse. Together, we looked like a splendid group.

We played some drinking games at Eshan's, which included some Mario Kart N64, then rolled downtown via the train tracks. We argued about who could run the fastest in a race, then went into Our House bar. The song "Thrift Shop" came on and we danced like crazy, and spent most of the night wandering around the bar, talking to people and dancing. Around 1AM, Brent, Kevin and I went to the giraffe statue outside of the hotel on G street and each took a turn boosting each other up to ride it. We got photos to prove it, and it was awesome. All around, it was a great day.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Crack Kills

For whatever reason I have my particular ways when the national anthem is sung. First off, gentlemen just take off your hats, it's not that hard. I don't know why this bothers me cause I'm not some super patriot or anything it just does cause 'murica! Anyways, what really bothers me is the actual singing. I know you're probably pretty good at singing since your were chosen to sing in front of thousands and everything but I don't think this is your time to show off. Just sing it.

I'll never make fun of someone for their singing abilities because it takes major cahones to sing in front of people and I'm not much of a singer myself, but at the Aztec game I finally got to see someone get just what they deserve. It started off as many others, building way too slowly with every high note drawn out and vibratoed to the max. There were more ups and downs in her voice than the hills of Tennessee. I always imagined what it would be like for the singer to forget the words but this was pretty good instead. As she was holding one of the notes, she had a huge voice crack! I couldn't help but giggle and notice that she sang the rest of the song with less emphasis on the high notes.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Just Ice Cream With the Guys

I went to ice cream with 3 dudes last night. Sounds fun right? haha. Kevin Nunes, Luke Nio, Dan the Man and I all got some late night dollar scoop at Sugar Daddies. Then we went back to Kev's place and watched some terrible-but-good show called "Shameless." It's one of those shows that is so bad that you can't look away. (I mean 'bad' as far as the characters' situations, the quality is actually quite good and it's funny). For example, this episode featured a side story where the dead-beat, alcoholic father, played by William H. Macy, spent most of the episode trying to dig up the body of his sister, whom he buried in the front yard 14 years ago when she died so he could still collect her social security checks. Only problem: he couldn't remember where he buried her, and some workers were coming the next day to re-do the sewage line (so they would find her body if he doesn't, and he'd be in prison for sure).

After that, we played Civil War, the beverage game, and I straight up KILLED it! I'm talking laser beam, making almost every cup kinda night. I won 6 games in a row (with rotating teammates) before I finally was ganged up on and defeated.

Monday, February 18, 2013


For Valentine's day, Krista and I went to a place in Winters called the Buckhorn Grill. Now, I don't know about you, but I was super surprised that there are nice places in Winters. As a matter of fact, the entire 'downtown Winters' area is very old western and puts off a cool vibe.

The great thing about the Buckhorn Grill is that it's a steakhouse, but there is only one drawback: it is expensive! I'm talking $30 for a steak dinner expensive. But, since it was Valentine's day, I didn't mind spending a little extra cashola for the occasion.  Their menu had a couple interesting items on it, most notably: ELK! That's right, you could order an elk steak for dinner. I was tempted, but then I got all self-righteous and didn't want to perpetuate the killing of elk. Go me.

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Fun in the Sun

It's only February but the weather this entire week has been perfect! I went to the beach with Mercy and Hannah (Mercy's sister) who were in town with their family. The only complaint I had is that the water was freezing. I know, we San Diegans are spoiled and it's a shame we can't have 70 degree water all year long. We (and about 8 other of Hannah's friends) played a few games of beach volleyball, something that none of us were particularly good at but we still had a good time. Later Mercy's family treated us all to dinner and brownies with ice cream. It was a good end to a good day.

I finally got my bike all fixed up again and working pretty well. The brakes tightened, chain greased, and seat and handlebars adjusted. I hate to get poetic but there's always something so calming or euphoric about biking at high speed with no particular destination. That is until you have to ride back, facing the wind this time and you begin to realize how out of shape you are.

Monday, February 11, 2013

Literal Drive-Thru

I was at the drive-thru of McDonald's today when the most miraculous, and literal thing happened. I ordered, and rolled to the first window. I payed, and as I rolled forward to the second window, the McDonald's worker stuck his arm out the window, holding my bag of food. No joke, I never stopped the car as I grabbed my food from his hand and drove away to enjoy it. It was magical.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Perfect Timing

I went out to the bars with some friends last night after a delicious potluck at Eshan's place. We hit a few different places and ended up at the bar "Our House" (which is a terrible name for a bar, but that's for another post).
Anyways, it got to be 1:00am and I was tired so I decided to walk home. I live only a few blocks away,  so it shoulda been no trouble at all. The one obstacle to cross was the train tracks and when I approached, I noticed a train was stopped on the tracks and the railroad alarm was ringing. After a couple minutes it started moving again, but was going so slow I feel like a snail could have beaten it in a race. After a couple minutes more, the train STOPPED AGAIN! This time it was stopped for 6 minutes or so, maybe more. All the while I, and a bunch of other bikers and cars, waited to cross. I seriously contemplated hopping over the train but decided not to.

So I waited. Once the train finally began screeching along, it went on forever! Seriously, there had to be a hundred cars or so because it was chugging along for at least ten minutes. After forever of waiting in the cold, the gates finally opened and floods of people and vehicles were able to cross the tracks. It was almost 1:30 am at this point. Good thing I left the bar early... not!

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Kurt and Kyle and Broken Streaks

I had a dream last night that I was hanging out with Kurt Cobain, and I was playing guitar and he was singing along with me. Then, we decided to go to In-N-Out to meet up with the rest of my family. Naturally, it was just a short walk down the hill from the strange wooden room we were in. As we strolled through the parking lot about to enter, I saw my friends Ian and Alex getting out of Ian's yellow truck. I'm not sure if I was about to say hi or not, but then I woke up. I was so bummed, partially because I've really been craving In-N-Out lately, but mostly, I was hanging out with Kurt Cobain! I think I was just about to ask him why he killed himself, or if he regretted it, which would have been interesting to hear the answer, even in a dream.

Anyways, it made it worth it that when Krista's alarm woke me up at 8am, it woke up Tyler, who needs to be at work at 8am. FINALLY a night of partying and minimal sleep caught up with him and he overslept. (He woke up saying "Everything I own died last night" in reference to his phone and laptop haha). He didn't get in trouble or anything, but it was kind of amazing he had never overslept before, considering how crazy our Thursdays usually are. The streak was broken.

Later at night Brent and I played Nazi Zombies, and made it to level 30, even though he exchanged the Zeus Cannon for some crappy gun (on accident) in level 20 or something. Smooth move, sailor.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Come On, Man! You're Holding Up Traffic

Krista and I went on a semi-late night excursion to get some dolla dolla scoop yall at Baskin Robbins ($1 scoop night, well, technically it's $1.50 scoop night if you want a regular scoop instead of a kids scoop). Anyways, we are driving through the maze of stop signs in downtown Davis when we arrive at the final intersection standing between us and ice cream. Suddenly, it all goes wrong.
I'm going to try to describe this so it makes sense.

We wanted to make a left onto E street, and arrived at the stop sign with a car to the left of us as well as a truck facing us. It was the car to our left's turn to go, but they could not, since an Asian man in a poofy green jacket was crossing the street. Conveniently, he also blocked the way for my car, so, naturally, the big truck facing me went first. Then the car to my left made his turn. Finally it was my turn to turn.
 It was just then I noticed the Asian man in the poofy green jacket waiting on the corner of the crosswalk, as if he wanted to cross the street in front of me. Right when I started to go, he began walking in front of my car; and we did the awkward little "Are you going? No I'm going. No, wait, you go" thing and I let him go in front of me, across the crosswalk and away from the general direction of Baskin Robbins (that is important later).

After that silly little ordeal I turned, went into the parking lot, and parked in front of Baskin Robbins. It literally took me one minute after my encounter with the Asian man in the poofy green jacket to get inside the store.
Krista and I ordered our ice cream; I got Gold Medal Ribbon, of course. At the cash register I turned to see who was about to enter the store, and guess who it was: ASIAN MAN IN THE POOFY GREEN JACKET! How did he know we were going there?!? He was traveling the opposite way of Baskin Robbins and yet, there he was. Maybe he needed to stop by the bank first to get some cash for dollar scoop night? Maybe. Personally, I think he used some secret mind power to read our minds and follow us to get ice cream. What. A. Weirdo.

Monday, February 4, 2013


So I went snowboarding for the first time yesterday. Tyler, Kevin, Sami, Mercy and I piled into a Jetta and cruised up to Sierra in Tahoe for the day. First off, we did a remarkable job of packing the Jetta, which did not have a rack. We were able to COMFORTABLY fit 5 people, 4 snowboards, 4 pairs of boots, one pair of skis, 2 poles, and assorted backpacks and smaller travel gear into a normal sized Jetta, without threatening our lives. Let's just say that Keith would be proud of us.

We made it up there pretty easily; we left a little after 6am and first stopped at a McDonald's, which forgot Tyler's hash browns. He was bitter about it for a while. Well we got up there and got our gear together (I had to rent snowboard boots) and then we hit the slopes. We rode the bunny slope once before my friends took me to a run with a sign saying "This Is NOT a Beginner Run." I protested, saying I was not ready, but they insisted I go. So, I tried my best to keep up.

According to all of them, I did an amazing job throughout the day considering it was my first time snowboarding. I was able to make it down the challenging runs in a reasonable amount of time, and they didn't have to wait for me too long. But I did fall pretty hard a number of times, and I didn't really carve down the mountain like you are supposed to. Instead, I weaved my way down, staying heel side most of the time. Occasionally when it wasn't so steep I would try to carve and go toe side, but most of the time I would fall, hard. I kept hitting the right side of my body and it was lucky I was wearing a helmet.

During one run I rode down the slope on my stomach with my legs in the air; that might've been the most fun part of the day because I knew I couldn't get hurt falling. Don't get me wrong, I did have fun, but since I already know how to ski (and I am pretty good at it) it was frustrating to be so slow on a snowboard. By the end of the day I was carving pretty well and getting the hang of it, but I was still terrified of falling again because it hurt worse and worse each time. I did pull my hip flexor pretty badly, and today I am so sore everywhere that I can hardly move. But it was a good time.

Afterwards we went into South Lake Tahoe, saw a beautiful sunset, ate at a sushi place (I didn't order), got a happy ending, and had a lot of delirious fun on the car ride back. Oh and we almost hit a coyote on the road. I nommed some In N Out then passed out watching Hitch. Exhausting day, but lots of fun.

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Drivers Suck

It baffles me how bad some drivers are. Well I know there are plenty of bad drivers out there but maybe it shocks me how oblivious some people are. Yesterday as I was leaving my house and approaching the 4-way stop sign, I noticed a lady just stopped in the middle of the intersection exactly half-way across. Dead stopped. She was looking down at her phone intently and didn't notice the growing line of four other people waiting behind her. She didn't have any hazard lights on and wasn't trying to wave the others to go around her like she was stuck or in trouble; she just sat there. Fortunately I was going the other direction so I just made a right turn around her. As I passed the drivers in the line forming behind her, I saw plenty of more angry and baffled faces. I'm just glad I didn't have to wait any longer than I had to.

Friday, February 1, 2013

Get Excited

I should post about something involving words and some intricate story, but I won't. Rather, I would like to announce to the world that, firstly, I'M GOING TO SEE JERRY SEINFELD IN REDDING IN MARCH WITH BRENT!!! and, secondly, I have created a YouTube account where I will be posting funny videos from our past. Enjoy the first one here:

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Songwriters at Heart

So last night, Tyler and I spent the evening trying our hand at songwriting. I had my guitar out (in D tuning, for those of you that care, mainly because I'm learning "The Cave" by Mumford & Sons, and that is the tuning. So in truth, it's laziness, because I don't want to re-tune my guitar). Anyways, we busted out Garageband and started jammin'. It was quite fun, especially because in the days earlier I came up with a really cool riff, and he wrote some words that could work for a verse / chorus.

We improved as we practiced during the night, and will definitely be having a session again soon, but here is the best part: I started messing around with some little riff, and Tyler rapped over it, all about squeezing big boobs and "putting it in",  and how awesome I am at guitar. It was pretty hilarious, and now it is a permanent addition to his iTunes library. I'll try to find a way to post it on here so y'all can listen, and in the meantime, stay 'tuned' for the Green / Kingdon MEGA HIT SONG! (Coming Soonish).

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Don't Even THINK About It, Kid

After a long and crazy night on Saturday, a bunch of us spent Sunday lounging and watching football. This included a little parking lot break where we threw the football at a speed limit sign and pretended to run a "god-awful" play like the Chargers. As with any lounging day, In-N-Out sounded like the food of the gods, so we journeyed there in search of nourishment.

We arrived, we ordered and like any other day, it was pretty crowded; there weren't any open booths or tables. Luckily I spied a family that was getting ready to leave, so I staked my claim by standing right near it. I sipped my lemon water casually, trying not to stare or shout "HURRY UP!" as they seemed to take forever, but eventually they left and a nice worker girl from In-N-Out even offered to wipe off the table.

As soon as she was finished wiping, I motioned to my friends to join me. We were about to sit down, when a little boy, probably around age 7, kinda tried to slide into the booth, looking up at me awkwardly as if he wasn't sure if it was my table or not. Apparently I glared at him with a "back off, punk, this table is mine" kind of look, and he quickly realized he was out-matched and took a different booth. I'm just glad I didn't have to fight him, because I would have.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Bazooka Joe

I was helping my parents set up a 50's themed party for their work and had to sort several kinds of candies from the time period. Nothing real exciting here though I did get to try a 'big hunk' and it wasn't all that impressive. I've always wanted to experiment with random candies like that but never do. Anyways, I stumbled on some Bazooka Joe Bubblegum and it took me back to those little league baseball days. The days where you're just excited to get your drink ticket after your game and chew on some pink bubbly stuffs. Of course they had the comics, and apparently they had fortunes too... haha.

Fortune: Friends don't let friends buy junk.

Mitch Hedberg, the Preacher

It is well known that Mitch Hedberg was an excellent comedian; he always came up with the funniest observations about life. However, little did I know that he was also a preacher, whose philosophies transcend time and space. Here is what happened to me the other day:

Late one night, Krista and I made a trek to CVS Pharmacy. She is basically coughing her lungs out due to some sickness (that I can only hope I don't contract as well), so she finally caved and decided to get some drugs. We found the 'sick' aisle, and it didn't take long to realize that there are a bajillion different kinds of cold and flu and sore throat medications. Since it was going to take some time to decided, we sat down on the comfy, carpeted aisle and compared ingredients. 
All of the sudden, we were rudely interrupted by a staff member of CVS, telling us that we can't sit on the floor because we were a fire hazard, since apparently somebody could trip over us if huge flames suddenly engulfed the poor pharmacy.  All I could think of was Mitch: "As if there was a fire, I wasn't going to move. If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit."
If one of the 5 total people in the store tripped over me during a raging fire in CVS at 11pm, they probably shouldn't have made it out anyways.

Friday, January 18, 2013

Faith In Humanity Restored

A few nights ago, I was picking up some In-N-Out from the drive through for the family. All of us got burgers and fries as usual, though most of us got shakes too which may have been what caused us to go over budget. The total ended up being about $20.47 and I only had a 20... Easy fix: just grab some spare change from the ash tray right? Only a single dime. Next, check your wallet and just give em an extra dollar; no wallet could be found (and if you know me, you'd know that I hate leaving the house without my wallet). Now I'm freaking out trying to look between the seats for some change that always seems to fall out of my pockets, alas none could be found. I pull up to the window, slightly embarrassed and apologizing for the lack of change thinking I'll have to take something off the order, but of course Good Guy In-N-Out just shrugs it off and lets me go no questions asked. I fully expected them to do this to be honest but I was truly embarrassed for coming up short on money.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013


Why is it that a place like Wal-Mart gets the majority of the odd looking people in society? I know they have great prices, and they do have Everything, but why must they also have all the weirdos? Target has some pretty competitive prices nowadays and I can buy milk and groceries there too (which is still weird). Why can't some of the creeps go over there so I don't find them all when I shop at Wal-Mart?

Besides the cheap prices, the store is clean, well lit, and they actually had brand new carts with wheels that didn't squeak or wobble. Besides this pleasant experience, I feel so uncomfortable whenever I find myself there, and I'd like to think that I'm not one that fits in with the crowd there. But that's why there's a site called 'people of wal-mart' cause some right-minded people have to notice the crazies that lurk in the aisles and post them to the internet for everyone else to see.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013


Apparently, 7-Eleven sells toilet paper. I'm not sure about all yall, but this is news to me. Okay, yeah, I bought some, but does that make it any less weird? What is it becoming, your one-stop-shop? Is someone gonna gangsta swag their way into 7-Eleven late at night like "hey I'm gonna grab a Slurpee and some $1 hotdogs, oh and some toilet paper just in case things get wild?" I'll let you know later about the wipe quality, but let's just say I'm not expecting the Charmin bears to approve.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Chubby Chasers Don't Have to Run Fast

Today I watched a silly T.V. show called "Girls." I didn't really watch it willingly, it kinda just happened. I went to a friends place to enjoy some scrumptious Swedish Meatballs, and then decided to stay with the ladies to watch the show. Anyways, "Girls" is a weird drama about these mid-twentysomething girls and all of their problems with life, love and boyfriends. It is pretty funny actually (in the pathetic way, not the ha ha way). Surprisingly, I enjoyed it for what it was, but there is just one gripe I have, and I will tell you about it. Since the show is on HBO, there is some nudity, and since it is a girl show, it has a lot to do with sex. The only problem is that THE CHUBBIEST CHICK HAS THE MOST NUDE SCENES! What is wrong with these producers? Why on earth would you show an ugly chubby girl in very little clothing for most of the episode and leave MUCH prettier girls with all their clothes on? Is it because the show is geared for girls, not men? Is it supposed to make girls feel better about their own bodies? I don't know, but I was still disappointed.

Football Dudes

January 12:

So today Brent and I had the best man-date ever. He came over to my apartment to watch the Niners vs. Packers playoff game. We ordered 2 EXTRA LARGE Woodstocks pizzas with a buy-one get-one free coupon, he brought a six pack of Guinness, and we sat on the couch and enjoyed a very exciting game. The only word to describe it: perfect.

Saturday, January 12, 2013


As much as I love watching and rooting for the Aztecs, they piss me off just like every other San Diego sports team. I know they have the talent to be really good, (and they are ranked 16th in the nation) though they can still stoop pretty low when it comes to putting the game away. Having shot particularly well, making ten 3's, though not making a single regular field goal for over 10 minutes, the Aztecs went into the locker room at half with maybe an 18 point lead. Despite playing rather well, they quickly let Colorado St. back in to the game being within 5 points after just 3 minutes in to the second half. Feeling confident from the good shooting the Aztecs let their cockiness get the best of them and kept shooting from deep... and missing. The CSU shooters quickly began to heat up too. And I don't think it's the players fault for letting this happen because CSU is actually a pretty good team. Like other San Diego teams, it's the coaching to blame. Steve Fisher has built quite a name for himself over the years with the Aztecs success over recent years and even with the so-called Fab Five but the lack of discipline in the players shows as he let's his players run wild on the court making turn overs and taking stupid shots. A play style my Dad likes to call, "dribble high, let it fly." While letting the players run often makes for exciting plays, good teams with good coaching wouldn't let these mistakes continue. Yes, the Aztecs did win... in overtime, but it's games like these can should turn in to blowouts or easy wins instead of nailbiters. And that's what really grinds my gears haha. But seriously this team could be really good if they didn't mess around so much.

Friday, January 11, 2013

He's Got the Look

So I'm pretty sure that Tyler Kingdon is worse than a girl at picking an outfit. It doesn't even take Krista (no offense) this long to pick out something to wear.
At this very moment, Tyler is trying to get his clothes together before we go out and party party. Here's what happened:
He chose a shirt and put it on. He matched it with some jeans that were skinny jeans (of course) and are kind of light gray in color. You would think the tough part of choosing his outfit is over, but NAY!
He puts on a greyish blue jacket, then, after much deciding, puts his fake peacoat over the top of that. Outfit complete right? Ready for the cold and still looking good... but NAY! Tyler decides to second-guess the pant color, not really sure if they are the exact fit to pull the whole look together. I repeatedly tell him that he looks fine, but it falls on deaf ears.
After staring at himself in the mirror for ten minutes, and repeated questions to me about what would look better, he takes off the pants and puts on some darker gray ones. They look good, even better than his previous choice, I tell him. However, to be a jerk, I say the others are actually better so that he will take off his pants. Once he has one leg undone, I tell him just kidding. I am so funny.
However, my joke backfired.
He takes off his pants entirely and tries on two different kinds (blue and dark blue), and after much mirror gazing, scraps the entire outfit! So there he is, standing in front of the mirror with just his Batman underwear, trying to figure out what to wear. I leave the room because I can't take it anymore; it's just too funny.
FINALLY, after ten minutes, he emerges... and... he is wearing... THE ORIGINAL OUTFIT!!! Oh my goodness what a debacle. He says his indecision is because he's probably on his period. I think he's probably right.

Shit Shape

After much laziness recently, I decided to get out and about and do something active for once. I knew that I would be out of shape, but not until mid-run did I realized how out of shape I was. It was pretty pathetic and it's safe to say that this is the most out of shape I have ever been in my entire life. It felt like the first day of basketball tryouts all over again. This is all something I need to change since I've always been at least somewhat active.

Before I worked out I made an armband for my iPod out of an old tube sock and it worked quite well. It's pretty cool what you can make with stuff around your house sometimes instead of going to buy something brand new in the store.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Traffic Surprise!

I will never understand traffic as long as I live. I was told to leave work early, around 5:30pm, which is basically the kiss of death of traffic time in the Sacramento area. However, there were only brief moments of slowing down instead of full-blown stop dead traffic. Why? It is a weekday... and I'm pretty sure I've driven on the 80 freeway on a Wednesday at 5:30pm before and gotten stuck like molasses in winter time. I'm baffled. BUT, I DID get home much quicker than expected, and that's always fine by me.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

How the Pho Do You Pronounce That???

I tried "pho" for the first time today. For those of you who don't know, it is a Vietnamese dish of noodles and beef and a bunch of other little ingredients in broth. As a matter of fact, it is a lot like soup. Now, the fun thing about pho is that it is ACTUALLY PRONOUNCED "fuh." Some of you may be thinking: "What the pho??? That's so weird!" I know, right!?! This is probably my favorite part about the dish, since things can get pretty funny and punny, or should I say 'phonny' haha. So, in summary, I tried pho today, and it was phokin' delicious. I drove to the place with Krista and her Vietnamese friend Joe, who is a pretty phonny guy. Overall, it was a phon experience, and I'm glad that I'm more culinarily cultured now.
P.S. There is a Vietnamese place in Davis called: "Pho King." I'm not quite sure if they thought this through when they named the place, but it is genius. It is pho king genius. haha

Move Yo Body Like a Cyclone

I spent most of yesterday driving up to Davis with Krista. There were a few interesting moments along the way. The pimpest moment happened at an ARCO gas station in the middle of nowhere. We were filling up on gasolina, when a super fat chick ridin' shotgun in a partially tricked-out sedan rolled up to the pump, blasting the song "Cyclone." She wobbled out of the car, music still blasting and did a couple jiggly dance moves. Krista and I couldn't resist gettin' jiggy wit it as well... and neither could a few other people at the ARCO. So there we were, listening to club music at a gas station in the middle of nowhere at night, sponsored by a fat gangsta chick and her baby daddy. Doesn't get much better...

The Test Before the Test

A few days ago, Friday, I had my first formal job interview out of college. I showed up several minutes early to make sure I didn't get lost or make a fool of myself; however, after walking through the double doors, I was greeted with a puzzle that I'm sure was the first step of my interview. There was no receptionist, just a desk and a telephone. There was no one else in the room but a glass wall and two locked doors behind the desk so I knew that I was to solve this riddle if I wanted to make it to my interview on time. They gave a list of extension numbers to contact directly whoever it was you were supposed to meet, however dialing any numbers resulted in a busy tone. After a couple frustrated attempts at dialing I noticed the all-watching eye in the ceiling corner, surely recording the embarrassment I was making of myself. Fortunately I was able to flag someone down that was able to give me the secret code to dial the right number. After the rough start, the rest of the interview was a breeze and went by pretty smoothly. And now we play the waiting game...

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Get too de Choppaaaaa!

I spent some time watching a bunch of comedians do pretty spot-on impressions of the 'Governator', and it got me thinking: why does it seem like everybody in the world can do an Arnold Schwarzenegger impression? It may get old after a while (especially after several YouTube videos) but at least it's super fun to go around saying "Get Downnnn!" or "Get to the Chopper!" or "he hahl!" Maybe that's why all the comedians do it.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

JUMP shots

Today David and I played around on the mini trampoline in my driveway, setting it near the basketball hoop and doing some outrageous slam dunks (dunks that I wished I could do on a 10 foot rim).
We played a game where we would jump on the trampoline from each side, hang in the air, and do a jump shot; we would be about 17 feet away from the hoop. The hang time was insane! ... and, SO MUCH FUN! Now if only I was 7 feet tall and had the same coordination.... coughNBAcough.

Time to Put on My Big Boy Pants

Tomorrow I have my first post-graduate interview at a company actually relevant to my degree. While funemployment has been mostly fun, it has grown increasingly more tiring everyday. I've done the same sitting around and helping the parents out, as well as constructing countless resumes all day only hoping to get noticed. I hope tomorrow goes well and all of this will be a thing of the past. I've actually been studying the company and all my relevant experiences so I'll be more comfortable tomorrow, which is something I haven't done in several months. There are many things I will miss about school but studying will never be one of them. Wish me luck!

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

I Know What I Like

As I drove up to the McDonald's drive-thru tonight, I heard the value menu speaker asking me what I wanted to eat and immediately found myself saying, "give me a second to think." While it's not uncommon to ask for more time to place an order, I always ask for the extra time even though I already knew what I want. In that time period I try to convince myself that I might try something different for once, alas I always end up with a few McDoubles and a McChicken. Maybe it's because I'm boring and cheap and I don't feel like spending any more money than I have to. Maybe it's because I'm afraid that I'll be disappointed if I choose differently (though I think everyone is somewhat disappointed for settling with McDonald's in the first place). I think it's mostly just because I know it's what I like. Though, every restaurant is the same; I've got no problem picking the same things because I know I'll enjoy them.

On a different note, a few of us saw Django Unchained tonight. It was very much a Tarantino film though I really enjoyed it, even though the ending did kind of dragged on.

On a different different note, I hope this is the first post of many on this blog. I don't want to make it a new year's resolution thing but I do hope that it lasts a good while.

Crappy New Year... lol

Today I was at the beach with my family and my girlfriend, Krista. As we searched for interesting rocks along the shore, KRISTA GOT POOPED ON BY A SEAGULL! Luckily for her, the splash of milky white poop landed on her foot; since she wore sandals, it was an easy wash-off in the ocean waves. But, it was still funny.