Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Songwriters at Heart

So last night, Tyler and I spent the evening trying our hand at songwriting. I had my guitar out (in D tuning, for those of you that care, mainly because I'm learning "The Cave" by Mumford & Sons, and that is the tuning. So in truth, it's laziness, because I don't want to re-tune my guitar). Anyways, we busted out Garageband and started jammin'. It was quite fun, especially because in the days earlier I came up with a really cool riff, and he wrote some words that could work for a verse / chorus.

We improved as we practiced during the night, and will definitely be having a session again soon, but here is the best part: I started messing around with some little riff, and Tyler rapped over it, all about squeezing big boobs and "putting it in",  and how awesome I am at guitar. It was pretty hilarious, and now it is a permanent addition to his iTunes library. I'll try to find a way to post it on here so y'all can listen, and in the meantime, stay 'tuned' for the Green / Kingdon MEGA HIT SONG! (Coming Soonish).

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Don't Even THINK About It, Kid

After a long and crazy night on Saturday, a bunch of us spent Sunday lounging and watching football. This included a little parking lot break where we threw the football at a speed limit sign and pretended to run a "god-awful" play like the Chargers. As with any lounging day, In-N-Out sounded like the food of the gods, so we journeyed there in search of nourishment.

We arrived, we ordered and like any other day, it was pretty crowded; there weren't any open booths or tables. Luckily I spied a family that was getting ready to leave, so I staked my claim by standing right near it. I sipped my lemon water casually, trying not to stare or shout "HURRY UP!" as they seemed to take forever, but eventually they left and a nice worker girl from In-N-Out even offered to wipe off the table.

As soon as she was finished wiping, I motioned to my friends to join me. We were about to sit down, when a little boy, probably around age 7, kinda tried to slide into the booth, looking up at me awkwardly as if he wasn't sure if it was my table or not. Apparently I glared at him with a "back off, punk, this table is mine" kind of look, and he quickly realized he was out-matched and took a different booth. I'm just glad I didn't have to fight him, because I would have.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Bazooka Joe

I was helping my parents set up a 50's themed party for their work and had to sort several kinds of candies from the time period. Nothing real exciting here though I did get to try a 'big hunk' and it wasn't all that impressive. I've always wanted to experiment with random candies like that but never do. Anyways, I stumbled on some Bazooka Joe Bubblegum and it took me back to those little league baseball days. The days where you're just excited to get your drink ticket after your game and chew on some pink bubbly stuffs. Of course they had the comics, and apparently they had fortunes too... haha.

Fortune: Friends don't let friends buy junk.

Mitch Hedberg, the Preacher

It is well known that Mitch Hedberg was an excellent comedian; he always came up with the funniest observations about life. However, little did I know that he was also a preacher, whose philosophies transcend time and space. Here is what happened to me the other day:

Late one night, Krista and I made a trek to CVS Pharmacy. She is basically coughing her lungs out due to some sickness (that I can only hope I don't contract as well), so she finally caved and decided to get some drugs. We found the 'sick' aisle, and it didn't take long to realize that there are a bajillion different kinds of cold and flu and sore throat medications. Since it was going to take some time to decided, we sat down on the comfy, carpeted aisle and compared ingredients. 
All of the sudden, we were rudely interrupted by a staff member of CVS, telling us that we can't sit on the floor because we were a fire hazard, since apparently somebody could trip over us if huge flames suddenly engulfed the poor pharmacy.  All I could think of was Mitch: "As if there was a fire, I wasn't going to move. If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit."
If one of the 5 total people in the store tripped over me during a raging fire in CVS at 11pm, they probably shouldn't have made it out anyways.

Friday, January 18, 2013

Faith In Humanity Restored

A few nights ago, I was picking up some In-N-Out from the drive through for the family. All of us got burgers and fries as usual, though most of us got shakes too which may have been what caused us to go over budget. The total ended up being about $20.47 and I only had a 20... Easy fix: just grab some spare change from the ash tray right? Only a single dime. Next, check your wallet and just give em an extra dollar; no wallet could be found (and if you know me, you'd know that I hate leaving the house without my wallet). Now I'm freaking out trying to look between the seats for some change that always seems to fall out of my pockets, alas none could be found. I pull up to the window, slightly embarrassed and apologizing for the lack of change thinking I'll have to take something off the order, but of course Good Guy In-N-Out just shrugs it off and lets me go no questions asked. I fully expected them to do this to be honest but I was truly embarrassed for coming up short on money.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013


Why is it that a place like Wal-Mart gets the majority of the odd looking people in society? I know they have great prices, and they do have Everything, but why must they also have all the weirdos? Target has some pretty competitive prices nowadays and I can buy milk and groceries there too (which is still weird). Why can't some of the creeps go over there so I don't find them all when I shop at Wal-Mart?

Besides the cheap prices, the store is clean, well lit, and they actually had brand new carts with wheels that didn't squeak or wobble. Besides this pleasant experience, I feel so uncomfortable whenever I find myself there, and I'd like to think that I'm not one that fits in with the crowd there. But that's why there's a site called 'people of wal-mart' cause some right-minded people have to notice the crazies that lurk in the aisles and post them to the internet for everyone else to see.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013


Apparently, 7-Eleven sells toilet paper. I'm not sure about all yall, but this is news to me. Okay, yeah, I bought some, but does that make it any less weird? What is it becoming, your one-stop-shop? Is someone gonna gangsta swag their way into 7-Eleven late at night like "hey I'm gonna grab a Slurpee and some $1 hotdogs, oh and some toilet paper just in case things get wild?" I'll let you know later about the wipe quality, but let's just say I'm not expecting the Charmin bears to approve.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Chubby Chasers Don't Have to Run Fast

Today I watched a silly T.V. show called "Girls." I didn't really watch it willingly, it kinda just happened. I went to a friends place to enjoy some scrumptious Swedish Meatballs, and then decided to stay with the ladies to watch the show. Anyways, "Girls" is a weird drama about these mid-twentysomething girls and all of their problems with life, love and boyfriends. It is pretty funny actually (in the pathetic way, not the ha ha way). Surprisingly, I enjoyed it for what it was, but there is just one gripe I have, and I will tell you about it. Since the show is on HBO, there is some nudity, and since it is a girl show, it has a lot to do with sex. The only problem is that THE CHUBBIEST CHICK HAS THE MOST NUDE SCENES! What is wrong with these producers? Why on earth would you show an ugly chubby girl in very little clothing for most of the episode and leave MUCH prettier girls with all their clothes on? Is it because the show is geared for girls, not men? Is it supposed to make girls feel better about their own bodies? I don't know, but I was still disappointed.

Football Dudes

January 12:

So today Brent and I had the best man-date ever. He came over to my apartment to watch the Niners vs. Packers playoff game. We ordered 2 EXTRA LARGE Woodstocks pizzas with a buy-one get-one free coupon, he brought a six pack of Guinness, and we sat on the couch and enjoyed a very exciting game. The only word to describe it: perfect.

Saturday, January 12, 2013


As much as I love watching and rooting for the Aztecs, they piss me off just like every other San Diego sports team. I know they have the talent to be really good, (and they are ranked 16th in the nation) though they can still stoop pretty low when it comes to putting the game away. Having shot particularly well, making ten 3's, though not making a single regular field goal for over 10 minutes, the Aztecs went into the locker room at half with maybe an 18 point lead. Despite playing rather well, they quickly let Colorado St. back in to the game being within 5 points after just 3 minutes in to the second half. Feeling confident from the good shooting the Aztecs let their cockiness get the best of them and kept shooting from deep... and missing. The CSU shooters quickly began to heat up too. And I don't think it's the players fault for letting this happen because CSU is actually a pretty good team. Like other San Diego teams, it's the coaching to blame. Steve Fisher has built quite a name for himself over the years with the Aztecs success over recent years and even with the so-called Fab Five but the lack of discipline in the players shows as he let's his players run wild on the court making turn overs and taking stupid shots. A play style my Dad likes to call, "dribble high, let it fly." While letting the players run often makes for exciting plays, good teams with good coaching wouldn't let these mistakes continue. Yes, the Aztecs did win... in overtime, but it's games like these can should turn in to blowouts or easy wins instead of nailbiters. And that's what really grinds my gears haha. But seriously this team could be really good if they didn't mess around so much.

Friday, January 11, 2013

He's Got the Look

So I'm pretty sure that Tyler Kingdon is worse than a girl at picking an outfit. It doesn't even take Krista (no offense) this long to pick out something to wear.
At this very moment, Tyler is trying to get his clothes together before we go out and party party. Here's what happened:
He chose a shirt and put it on. He matched it with some jeans that were skinny jeans (of course) and are kind of light gray in color. You would think the tough part of choosing his outfit is over, but NAY!
He puts on a greyish blue jacket, then, after much deciding, puts his fake peacoat over the top of that. Outfit complete right? Ready for the cold and still looking good... but NAY! Tyler decides to second-guess the pant color, not really sure if they are the exact fit to pull the whole look together. I repeatedly tell him that he looks fine, but it falls on deaf ears.
After staring at himself in the mirror for ten minutes, and repeated questions to me about what would look better, he takes off the pants and puts on some darker gray ones. They look good, even better than his previous choice, I tell him. However, to be a jerk, I say the others are actually better so that he will take off his pants. Once he has one leg undone, I tell him just kidding. I am so funny.
However, my joke backfired.
He takes off his pants entirely and tries on two different kinds (blue and dark blue), and after much mirror gazing, scraps the entire outfit! So there he is, standing in front of the mirror with just his Batman underwear, trying to figure out what to wear. I leave the room because I can't take it anymore; it's just too funny.
FINALLY, after ten minutes, he emerges... and... he is wearing... THE ORIGINAL OUTFIT!!! Oh my goodness what a debacle. He says his indecision is because he's probably on his period. I think he's probably right.

Shit Shape

After much laziness recently, I decided to get out and about and do something active for once. I knew that I would be out of shape, but not until mid-run did I realized how out of shape I was. It was pretty pathetic and it's safe to say that this is the most out of shape I have ever been in my entire life. It felt like the first day of basketball tryouts all over again. This is all something I need to change since I've always been at least somewhat active.

Before I worked out I made an armband for my iPod out of an old tube sock and it worked quite well. It's pretty cool what you can make with stuff around your house sometimes instead of going to buy something brand new in the store.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Traffic Surprise!

I will never understand traffic as long as I live. I was told to leave work early, around 5:30pm, which is basically the kiss of death of traffic time in the Sacramento area. However, there were only brief moments of slowing down instead of full-blown stop dead traffic. Why? It is a weekday... and I'm pretty sure I've driven on the 80 freeway on a Wednesday at 5:30pm before and gotten stuck like molasses in winter time. I'm baffled. BUT, I DID get home much quicker than expected, and that's always fine by me.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

How the Pho Do You Pronounce That???

I tried "pho" for the first time today. For those of you who don't know, it is a Vietnamese dish of noodles and beef and a bunch of other little ingredients in broth. As a matter of fact, it is a lot like soup. Now, the fun thing about pho is that it is ACTUALLY PRONOUNCED "fuh." Some of you may be thinking: "What the pho??? That's so weird!" I know, right!?! This is probably my favorite part about the dish, since things can get pretty funny and punny, or should I say 'phonny' haha. So, in summary, I tried pho today, and it was phokin' delicious. I drove to the place with Krista and her Vietnamese friend Joe, who is a pretty phonny guy. Overall, it was a phon experience, and I'm glad that I'm more culinarily cultured now.
P.S. There is a Vietnamese place in Davis called: "Pho King." I'm not quite sure if they thought this through when they named the place, but it is genius. It is pho king genius. haha

Move Yo Body Like a Cyclone

I spent most of yesterday driving up to Davis with Krista. There were a few interesting moments along the way. The pimpest moment happened at an ARCO gas station in the middle of nowhere. We were filling up on gasolina, when a super fat chick ridin' shotgun in a partially tricked-out sedan rolled up to the pump, blasting the song "Cyclone." She wobbled out of the car, music still blasting and did a couple jiggly dance moves. Krista and I couldn't resist gettin' jiggy wit it as well... and neither could a few other people at the ARCO. So there we were, listening to club music at a gas station in the middle of nowhere at night, sponsored by a fat gangsta chick and her baby daddy. Doesn't get much better...

The Test Before the Test

A few days ago, Friday, I had my first formal job interview out of college. I showed up several minutes early to make sure I didn't get lost or make a fool of myself; however, after walking through the double doors, I was greeted with a puzzle that I'm sure was the first step of my interview. There was no receptionist, just a desk and a telephone. There was no one else in the room but a glass wall and two locked doors behind the desk so I knew that I was to solve this riddle if I wanted to make it to my interview on time. They gave a list of extension numbers to contact directly whoever it was you were supposed to meet, however dialing any numbers resulted in a busy tone. After a couple frustrated attempts at dialing I noticed the all-watching eye in the ceiling corner, surely recording the embarrassment I was making of myself. Fortunately I was able to flag someone down that was able to give me the secret code to dial the right number. After the rough start, the rest of the interview was a breeze and went by pretty smoothly. And now we play the waiting game...

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Get too de Choppaaaaa!

I spent some time watching a bunch of comedians do pretty spot-on impressions of the 'Governator', and it got me thinking: why does it seem like everybody in the world can do an Arnold Schwarzenegger impression? It may get old after a while (especially after several YouTube videos) but at least it's super fun to go around saying "Get Downnnn!" or "Get to the Chopper!" or "he hahl!" Maybe that's why all the comedians do it.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

JUMP shots

Today David and I played around on the mini trampoline in my driveway, setting it near the basketball hoop and doing some outrageous slam dunks (dunks that I wished I could do on a 10 foot rim).
We played a game where we would jump on the trampoline from each side, hang in the air, and do a jump shot; we would be about 17 feet away from the hoop. The hang time was insane! ... and, SO MUCH FUN! Now if only I was 7 feet tall and had the same coordination.... coughNBAcough.

Time to Put on My Big Boy Pants

Tomorrow I have my first post-graduate interview at a company actually relevant to my degree. While funemployment has been mostly fun, it has grown increasingly more tiring everyday. I've done the same sitting around and helping the parents out, as well as constructing countless resumes all day only hoping to get noticed. I hope tomorrow goes well and all of this will be a thing of the past. I've actually been studying the company and all my relevant experiences so I'll be more comfortable tomorrow, which is something I haven't done in several months. There are many things I will miss about school but studying will never be one of them. Wish me luck!

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

I Know What I Like

As I drove up to the McDonald's drive-thru tonight, I heard the value menu speaker asking me what I wanted to eat and immediately found myself saying, "give me a second to think." While it's not uncommon to ask for more time to place an order, I always ask for the extra time even though I already knew what I want. In that time period I try to convince myself that I might try something different for once, alas I always end up with a few McDoubles and a McChicken. Maybe it's because I'm boring and cheap and I don't feel like spending any more money than I have to. Maybe it's because I'm afraid that I'll be disappointed if I choose differently (though I think everyone is somewhat disappointed for settling with McDonald's in the first place). I think it's mostly just because I know it's what I like. Though, every restaurant is the same; I've got no problem picking the same things because I know I'll enjoy them.

On a different note, a few of us saw Django Unchained tonight. It was very much a Tarantino film though I really enjoyed it, even though the ending did kind of dragged on.

On a different different note, I hope this is the first post of many on this blog. I don't want to make it a new year's resolution thing but I do hope that it lasts a good while.

Crappy New Year... lol

Today I was at the beach with my family and my girlfriend, Krista. As we searched for interesting rocks along the shore, KRISTA GOT POOPED ON BY A SEAGULL! Luckily for her, the splash of milky white poop landed on her foot; since she wore sandals, it was an easy wash-off in the ocean waves. But, it was still funny.