The Post Graduate World
Just because I graduated college doesn't mean that weird things don't still happen. This is a place for funny stories, random coincidences and other things of that nature that easily get forgotten in the mush of life.
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Get Out da Car!
Monday, January 6, 2014
Vaccination Nation Part 1
So, I left work early around 3pm to drive over there. They close at 4pm. I even called ahead, to make sure they weren't swamped and refusing people. As I'm driving over there I see the traffic coming home will be murder, but at least I'm getting these shots out of the way. I arrive, and the huge parking lot is packed. Luckily, I find a spot in front row (booyah!) and go inside. A cute girl says hello to me on the way in, which, if you are familiar with the caliber of people that use 'county' health clinics, you should know this is like a one-in-a-million omen. Looking good so far.
***Side note about people in County health clinics: --- people in these places are not usually the brightest bulbs in the toolbox or the most attractive flowers in the sea.
Anyways I found the correct room, but who is blocking my way: a security guard! "We are shut down for the day, too many people. Come back tomorrow!" she repeats to all the disappointed people.
***Side note- she had on bubble-gum pink eye liner and lipstick - which is both classy and respectful.
BUT SERIOUSLY!?!? THE LADY ON THE PHONE SAID AS LONG AS I GOT THERE BY 4PM I WOULD BE FINE! Apparently not. I went all that way for nothing. So I left without getting shot, which is both good and bad if you knew the neighborhood it was in, and spent a good 40 minutes driving a 10 minute route home. #losing
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Denied
Krista and I got denied yesterday. Here's the scoop:
We went to get Krista a new phone for Christmas but due to some unforseen problem, we could not upgrade her phone. Then we went to In n Out for dinner, and had about a 20 min cushion before we had to leave for a movie. Little did we know that In n Out in Texas takes forever and we had to scarf down our food (partly on the drive over to the theater).
Then we arrived to watch American Hustle, only to find out that the (only) listed showtime was in fact "promotional" and you had to be invited via email to have a ticket.
So, we got no phone, no movie, and a stomach ache. Woohoo.
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Definitely Half EMPTY
The other side may say something like: "the extra space provides a cushion so the chips remain crunchy, instead of breaking into tiny crumbly pieces." To that I say: bolshevik. Give me chips, or give me, well, chips. You don't need extra space, these chips aren't flying first class. Put them in coach because they are going to a far worse place in the end.
Also, the chip companies could learn a lot from the pretzel people. Have you ever seen bags of pretzels? They are PACKED TO THE BRIM with pretzels; I almost feel like the bag is gonna explode if I pinch it. That's how it should be done.
Monday, April 22, 2013
Unlucky Colors Exist
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Water!
The next booth down looked like a water cooler you would see in the office, and that's pretty much all it was. There stood one guy in a polo shirt, next to the water cooler and behind a little black table. As we walked past, he shouted "Water!" and held a cup of liquid out to us. We laughed, thinking he was joking, but a couple seconds later he did it again: "water!"
Now, I don't know what was wrong with this guy, maybe he had a super tough day at the water station and was losing his mind, maybe he was fed up with the fact that NOBODY wanted his water. That desperate plea "water!" must have been his last resort, as he wished to god he had been assigned the ravioli station or something instead.
The funniest part was when I ran back to the front to get a cart (who walks into Costco without a cart???) and I saw 'water guy' with his head in his arms, leaning on the water cooler. He MUST have had a rough day, poor guy.
P.S. Later at Costco we had champagne and orange juice in our cart (for guess what day...) and the pop corn sample guy said that popcorn goes well with mimosas. Who knew?
Sunday, March 31, 2013
March Update
Monday, March 4, 2013
Paying for a Brand
There's not much to it, other than that I bought a cheap generic version of ranch dressing, and thought I was getting a great deal (it was about $3 cheaper than most other choices). Well, when I opened it to enjoy some carrots and ranch, I learned why it was cheaper: it was rancid! Probably the most foul thing I tasted that was supposed to be fresh. Well, since then I've stayed name-brand on Ranch dressing.
Other things that I stay name-brand on: Hershey's Syrup, Jif peanut butter, Ritz crackers, and I think that's it so far. Cool huh?
P.S. I learned through my job as a medical assistant that the generic versions of medications are NOT exactly the same as the name brands, even though they claim many of the same ingredients or active components. For example, with eye medications, the name brand Lastacaft is proven to relieve itching for 24 hours, while the generic wasn't tested to last nearly as long. Interesting; now I don't know what to believe anymore.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
It's Like a Break-Up
Anyways, don't worry about me, I'm not too beat up about it because I thought of leaving for something better for a month or so now, but it's still like a break up. I've spent the last couple days, since I found out, lounging around and doing nothing all day long. I've watched a bunch of movies, played a lot of video games, and just pretended every day was Saturday. I'm looking at it like a post-job grieving period, before I start hunting again and being productive. It's like when you break up with someone, how you are sad or depressed for a little while. But I rediscovered something I learned in the fall: sitting around the apartment all day is fun for a day or two, but then it gets really really boring. I'm already hating it.
I'm gonna set little goals, like going through my Rosetta Stone Espanol and applying to a lot of jobs. Maybe I'll even study for the GRE. Who knows.
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Getting Back in the Swing of Things
Later we caught up with Morgan, cruised the boardwalk on the beach and got some BJs. The pizza was pretty good too, though Joey ordered a Vegetarian pizza and added chicken to it which seemed kinda counter-intuitive.
Poppin' Tags
We played some drinking games at Eshan's, which included some Mario Kart N64, then rolled downtown via the train tracks. We argued about who could run the fastest in a race, then went into Our House bar. The song "Thrift Shop" came on and we danced like crazy, and spent most of the night wandering around the bar, talking to people and dancing. Around 1AM, Brent, Kevin and I went to the giraffe statue outside of the hotel on G street and each took a turn boosting each other up to ride it. We got photos to prove it, and it was awesome. All around, it was a great day.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Crack Kills
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Just Ice Cream With the Guys
After that, we played Civil War, the beverage game, and I straight up KILLED it! I'm talking laser beam, making almost every cup kinda night. I won 6 games in a row (with rotating teammates) before I finally was ganged up on and defeated.
Monday, February 18, 2013
Buckhorny
The great thing about the Buckhorn Grill is that it's a steakhouse, but there is only one drawback: it is expensive! I'm talking $30 for a steak dinner expensive. But, since it was Valentine's day, I didn't mind spending a little extra cashola for the occasion. Their menu had a couple interesting items on it, most notably: ELK! That's right, you could order an elk steak for dinner. I was tempted, but then I got all self-righteous and didn't want to perpetuate the killing of elk. Go me.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Fun in the Sun
I finally got my bike all fixed up again and working pretty well. The brakes tightened, chain greased, and seat and handlebars adjusted. I hate to get poetic but there's always something so calming or euphoric about biking at high speed with no particular destination. That is until you have to ride back, facing the wind this time and you begin to realize how out of shape you are.
Monday, February 11, 2013
Literal Drive-Thru
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Perfect Timing
Anyways, it got to be 1:00am and I was tired so I decided to walk home. I live only a few blocks away, so it shoulda been no trouble at all. The one obstacle to cross was the train tracks and when I approached, I noticed a train was stopped on the tracks and the railroad alarm was ringing. After a couple minutes it started moving again, but was going so slow I feel like a snail could have beaten it in a race. After a couple minutes more, the train STOPPED AGAIN! This time it was stopped for 6 minutes or so, maybe more. All the while I, and a bunch of other bikers and cars, waited to cross. I seriously contemplated hopping over the train but decided not to.
So I waited. Once the train finally began screeching along, it went on forever! Seriously, there had to be a hundred cars or so because it was chugging along for at least ten minutes. After forever of waiting in the cold, the gates finally opened and floods of people and vehicles were able to cross the tracks. It was almost 1:30 am at this point. Good thing I left the bar early... not!
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Kurt and Kyle and Broken Streaks
Anyways, it made it worth it that when Krista's alarm woke me up at 8am, it woke up Tyler, who needs to be at work at 8am. FINALLY a night of partying and minimal sleep caught up with him and he overslept. (He woke up saying "Everything I own died last night" in reference to his phone and laptop haha). He didn't get in trouble or anything, but it was kind of amazing he had never overslept before, considering how crazy our Thursdays usually are. The streak was broken.
Later at night Brent and I played Nazi Zombies, and made it to level 30, even though he exchanged the Zeus Cannon for some crappy gun (on accident) in level 20 or something. Smooth move, sailor.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Come On, Man! You're Holding Up Traffic
I'm going to try to describe this so it makes sense.
We wanted to make a left onto E street, and arrived at the stop sign with a car to the left of us as well as a truck facing us. It was the car to our left's turn to go, but they could not, since an Asian man in a poofy green jacket was crossing the street. Conveniently, he also blocked the way for my car, so, naturally, the big truck facing me went first. Then the car to my left made his turn. Finally it was my turn to turn.
It was just then I noticed the Asian man in the poofy green jacket waiting on the corner of the crosswalk, as if he wanted to cross the street in front of me. Right when I started to go, he began walking in front of my car; and we did the awkward little "Are you going? No I'm going. No, wait, you go" thing and I let him go in front of me, across the crosswalk and away from the general direction of Baskin Robbins (that is important later).
After that silly little ordeal I turned, went into the parking lot, and parked in front of Baskin Robbins. It literally took me one minute after my encounter with the Asian man in the poofy green jacket to get inside the store.
Krista and I ordered our ice cream; I got Gold Medal Ribbon, of course. At the cash register I turned to see who was about to enter the store, and guess who it was: ASIAN MAN IN THE POOFY GREEN JACKET! How did he know we were going there?!? He was traveling the opposite way of Baskin Robbins and yet, there he was. Maybe he needed to stop by the bank first to get some cash for dollar scoop night? Maybe. Personally, I think he used some secret mind power to read our minds and follow us to get ice cream. What. A. Weirdo.
Monday, February 4, 2013
Snowbizzlin'
We made it up there pretty easily; we left a little after 6am and first stopped at a McDonald's, which forgot Tyler's hash browns. He was bitter about it for a while. Well we got up there and got our gear together (I had to rent snowboard boots) and then we hit the slopes. We rode the bunny slope once before my friends took me to a run with a sign saying "This Is NOT a Beginner Run." I protested, saying I was not ready, but they insisted I go. So, I tried my best to keep up.
According to all of them, I did an amazing job throughout the day considering it was my first time snowboarding. I was able to make it down the challenging runs in a reasonable amount of time, and they didn't have to wait for me too long. But I did fall pretty hard a number of times, and I didn't really carve down the mountain like you are supposed to. Instead, I weaved my way down, staying heel side most of the time. Occasionally when it wasn't so steep I would try to carve and go toe side, but most of the time I would fall, hard. I kept hitting the right side of my body and it was lucky I was wearing a helmet.
During one run I rode down the slope on my stomach with my legs in the air; that might've been the most fun part of the day because I knew I couldn't get hurt falling. Don't get me wrong, I did have fun, but since I already know how to ski (and I am pretty good at it) it was frustrating to be so slow on a snowboard. By the end of the day I was carving pretty well and getting the hang of it, but I was still terrified of falling again because it hurt worse and worse each time. I did pull my hip flexor pretty badly, and today I am so sore everywhere that I can hardly move. But it was a good time.
Afterwards we went into South Lake Tahoe, saw a beautiful sunset, ate at a sushi place (I didn't order), got a happy ending, and had a lot of delirious fun on the car ride back. Oh and we almost hit a coyote on the road. I nommed some In N Out then passed out watching Hitch. Exhausting day, but lots of fun.
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Drivers Suck
Friday, February 1, 2013
Get Excited
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLgcps8nveg&feature=youtu.be
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Songwriters at Heart
We improved as we practiced during the night, and will definitely be having a session again soon, but here is the best part: I started messing around with some little riff, and Tyler rapped over it, all about squeezing big boobs and "putting it in", and how awesome I am at guitar. It was pretty hilarious, and now it is a permanent addition to his iTunes library. I'll try to find a way to post it on here so y'all can listen, and in the meantime, stay 'tuned' for the Green / Kingdon MEGA HIT SONG! (Coming Soonish).
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Don't Even THINK About It, Kid
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Bazooka Joe
Fortune: Friends don't let friends buy junk.
Mitch Hedberg, the Preacher
Friday, January 18, 2013
Faith In Humanity Restored
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Wal-Martians
Besides the cheap prices, the store is clean, well lit, and they actually had brand new carts with wheels that didn't squeak or wobble. Besides this pleasant experience, I feel so uncomfortable whenever I find myself there, and I'd like to think that I'm not one that fits in with the crowd there. But that's why there's a site called 'people of wal-mart' cause some right-minded people have to notice the crazies that lurk in the aisles and post them to the internet for everyone else to see.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
7-Eleverything
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Chubby Chasers Don't Have to Run Fast
Football Dudes
So today Brent and I had the best man-date ever. He came over to my apartment to watch the Niners vs. Packers playoff game. We ordered 2 EXTRA LARGE Woodstocks pizzas with a buy-one get-one free coupon, he brought a six pack of Guinness, and we sat on the couch and enjoyed a very exciting game. The only word to describe it: perfect.
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Aztecs
Friday, January 11, 2013
He's Got the Look
At this very moment, Tyler is trying to get his clothes together before we go out and party party. Here's what happened:
He chose a shirt and put it on. He matched it with some jeans that were skinny jeans (of course) and are kind of light gray in color. You would think the tough part of choosing his outfit is over, but NAY!
He puts on a greyish blue jacket, then, after much deciding, puts his fake peacoat over the top of that. Outfit complete right? Ready for the cold and still looking good... but NAY! Tyler decides to second-guess the pant color, not really sure if they are the exact fit to pull the whole look together. I repeatedly tell him that he looks fine, but it falls on deaf ears.
After staring at himself in the mirror for ten minutes, and repeated questions to me about what would look better, he takes off the pants and puts on some darker gray ones. They look good, even better than his previous choice, I tell him. However, to be a jerk, I say the others are actually better so that he will take off his pants. Once he has one leg undone, I tell him just kidding. I am so funny.
However, my joke backfired.
He takes off his pants entirely and tries on two different kinds (blue and dark blue), and after much mirror gazing, scraps the entire outfit! So there he is, standing in front of the mirror with just his Batman underwear, trying to figure out what to wear. I leave the room because I can't take it anymore; it's just too funny.
FINALLY, after ten minutes, he emerges... and... he is wearing... THE ORIGINAL OUTFIT!!! Oh my goodness what a debacle. He says his indecision is because he's probably on his period. I think he's probably right.
Shit Shape
Before I worked out I made an armband for my iPod out of an old tube sock and it worked quite well. It's pretty cool what you can make with stuff around your house sometimes instead of going to buy something brand new in the store.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Traffic Surprise!
Sunday, January 6, 2013
How the Pho Do You Pronounce That???
P.S. There is a Vietnamese place in Davis called: "Pho King." I'm not quite sure if they thought this through when they named the place, but it is genius. It is pho king genius. haha
Move Yo Body Like a Cyclone
The Test Before the Test
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Get too de Choppaaaaa!
Thursday, January 3, 2013
JUMP shots
Time to Put on My Big Boy Pants
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
I Know What I Like
On a different note, a few of us saw Django Unchained tonight. It was very much a Tarantino film though I really enjoyed it, even though the ending did kind of dragged on.
On a different different note, I hope this is the first post of many on this blog. I don't want to make it a new year's resolution thing but I do hope that it lasts a good while.